but whatevs, here goes...
i've made it my recent practice to drink a bottle of water just before bed. i know it's important to stay hydrated, so it must be great to stay hydrated while your body is recuperating and rebuilding during the night. the downside to all of this, though, is that i have to pee like a russian racehorse come morningtime.
today, i was supposed to be at work at 8. in classic fashion, i woke up at 8. i went into crazy-crazy-super-fast-get-ready-for-work mode, throwing on whatever clothes i could find, frantically brushing my teeth and hurriedly doing something to the old hair. i rushed out the door without the slightest chance to relieve my bladder.
when i got to work, i literally thought i was going to explode, but since i was late and all, i had stuff i needed to do before i could go to the bathroom. hurting bladder. hurting bladder.
people kept bothering me. stuff kept popping up, and before i know it, it is 10:30 and i am yet to dispense urine that has been building up since late thursday evening.
finally, i lost it, telling a coworker, "that's it... i've gooooooooooot to pee!" and i stormed out.
doing the pee-pee dance in front of the toilet, i quickly-but-never-quite-quickly-enough-when-you-have-to-pee unzipped and went to use the flap (yes, i use the flap) of my boxers.
there was no flap.
i stuck my hand through the zipper hole, as perhaps the flap had twisted over to the side.
still no flap.
still dancing the dance of pee-pee.
"what the fuck, flap?!? where are you?!?"
sidestepping. 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2. no flap to be found.
so just before the hull was breached, i undo my belt and do an up-and-over pulling down the waistband of said boxers ever so slightly... and that's when i see it.
a tag.
yep, i put my underwear on backwards today.
i started laughing right there in the stall.
oh, and they're still on backwards.
i wasn't about to take my shoes off in the bathroom.
posted by brett @ 11:59 AM
6 Comments:
Hysterical! You were out the door in a flash this morning, though...so I understand why you might have put your underroos on backwards!
I work in a casino a big concern for us is customers not leaving the machines & just pissing right there at the slot machine
so i got to this blog through a review i read on yelp.com.
great reviews, and now, i discover, a quite entertaining blogger. thanks for giving me my first laugh of the day.
jordan
I shat in a sack the other day. Details omitted for my remaining pride's sake and to not arrise undue prurient interest. When can I call you neighbor?
um, you don't seem like a boxer guy. i learn something new everyday.
i wear everything.
i'm an easy breezy beautiful cover girl in that way.
Post a Comment
<< Home