there would certainly be some romance in that.
i have an appointment with my new doctor on friday afternoon. it's about nothing serious. i am seeing him for something of no particular importance. i have a small bump on my chest. it may or may not be getting larger, but the bugger certainly does itch. i am fairly certain it is not lethal. people rarely die from something that itched.
however, all is not well with me and the universe. something strange is afoot. some unforeseen plan is unravelling to its completion. for the past couple of weeks, i have been seeing signs. markers of a change in times. everywhere. and they give me a feeling. a feeling like i might be dying. a feeling like this could be it. a feeling like there may be no more. but a feeling like there is somehow a choice in the matter.
it is said that before a person dies their whole life flashes before their eyes. they relive everything before living no more. for two weeks, my life has been trickling around me. not in a flash. not always right in front of me. but it's all there. they're all walking by. slipping in and out. waving and calling my name. all of them. in the course of two weeks, i have seen a multitude of people from my past in a slow progression - from the family in vermont i had never met but have known in my very being since birth to my best girlfriend from junior high to my first friend with a driver's license to the girl across the hall during college to that friend of joe's i hadn't seen since we broke up. for two weeks, i've been living a slowly progressing episode of "this is your life" and now i fear we are nearing the end of this broadcast... and i can't remember what happened at the end of each show. i always got bored and changed the channel.
on friday, i go to the doctor about a small, itchy bump on my chest, and more than likely, i will see someone from my past. on saturday, i plan to awake, knowing that somehow i have died. ready to start all over again. a whole new future and a past that has finally been put to rest.
that. or it's cancer.
posted by brett @ 1:01 PM
3 Comments:
Kid: "It's a tumor!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Iz NADA TOO-MAH!"
- from "Kindergarten Cop"
here's hoping it's NOT cancer.
um. so this post scared me.
is that normal?
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