all morning, a fucking fax machine has been calling my number at the office.
every 4 minutes for about an hour, i withstood this.
around call number 16, i cracked.
i copied down the number of the fax machine that was so persistently calling me and ran downstairs.
i faxed the faxer a nice little note saying that they must have the wrong number.
i ran back upstairs.
it's still calling me.
another hour and another 15 calls later, i decide that the fax machine itself must be trying to make contact. perhaps, an intern lay dying at its base. the fax machine needed me.
i ran back downstairs.
this time i faxed a message to the fax machine.
i was certain this would work.
it didn't.
i was still getting fax calls every 4 minutes, and the continuous ringing of my phone was driving me even insanier... though it was giving me a great idea for a hip hop song.
seriously, at one point i caught myself thinking, "geez, helen keller had it sooo easy. to be deaf right now. that'd be the life."
i let this go on for another 30 minutes.
the constant riiiiiiing! beeeeeeeeeeep! riiiiiiiiiiiiing! beeeeeeeeeeep!
the hoping for god to smite me. "c'mon, i'm a fag for fuck's sake!"
the twitching vein in my left temple. i've named him julio.
i ran back downstairs with a new note in hand.
pleading for the little piece of paper to bring me clarity, quiet, and a piece of cheesecake, i fed it into our fax machine. i waved goodbye. then waved hello when it popped back out.
luckily, this one worked.
the phone has stopped ringing.
maybe the intern finally died.
i wanted to say "stop fucking faxing my phone every 4 fucking minutes, motherfucker!"
...but i'm at work.
posted by brett @ 1:12 PM
4 Comments:
This has happened to me. I forward my phone to the fax machine so 1.)my phone stops ringing and 2.) the cover page usually indicates the phone and fax number of the sender then 3.) I go to my fax machine and fax their voice line.
that is hilarious. It would have been hard for me to resist sending the "fuck off" note; even at work!
your inappropriate office behavior has been referred to human resources.
also, you make a shitty cup of coffee.
that is all.
As Ben said, you frightened them off with your gay handwriting. They might catch something from you.
Post a Comment
<< Home