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Friday, October 13, 2006

i sometimes hate the things i realize.

earlier this week, it hit me that i have cried more often (and shamelessly so) in the last 2 years than i probably did in the 22 years prior combined.

in the sixth grade, i went through a moody phase, during which i would sometimes just start uncontrollably crying... sobbing really. i remember my mother being speechless because she had not seen me cry since i was a very wee child. she said even as a baby i was, on the whole, quiet. i never cried.

until now. these past 2 years have ruined my streak. i have cried a lot in the last 2 years. i. mean. a. lot.

in a stranger's house. in a bar. in a car. in another bar. in the street. in probably yet another bar (just guessing). in the bushes outside an apartment. in a stairwell. in a women's bathroom. in a restaurant. in a coffeeshop. in a movie theater. in my underwear. in the shower.

and the list goes on and on...

seriously?!? seriously.

what the fuck is up with the tears?

i thought part of growing up was crying less often. i guess i was mistaken.

...or is it that i've lost control of my emotions? i used to have such a grip on them, but now, it seems, i am just a vehicle for their outbursts.

i just don't understand it.

i was never a crybaby... until i grew up.

24 Comments:

At 7:16 PM, October 13, 2006, Blogger nyana said...

you probably have your emotions a bit too much under control; hence, the sudden outbursts. you system needs to release somehow, right?

 
At 6:25 AM, October 14, 2006, Blogger Bumilla said...

who said men can't cry?

also, maybe you should start sending out some PostSecrets to exorcize some of this hidden pain. ;)

 
At 7:57 AM, October 14, 2006, Blogger PJS said...

I feel your pain and empathize with your shock at life's injustices. But always remember this one thing: We must never, ever, ever cry in bars. We simply must not be That Guy.

 
At 11:50 AM, October 16, 2006, Blogger MollyMaureen said...

I think it has something to do with the fact that i cry at the drop of a hat...you have caught "the disease" and are now crying everywhere. I agree with pjs, though...no crying in bars!

 
At 12:37 PM, October 16, 2006, Blogger GayProf said...

Well, what is behind the tears? I doubt that you are just randomly crying for no reason. Serious changes in your life?

In the meantime, I send you a hug for your next blue period. :-)

 
At 6:36 PM, October 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I completely disagree with the above. That said, I haven't cried in years.

 
At 8:48 PM, October 16, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, I just read "Marley and Me" about a man and his dog and LITERALLY cried my eyes out. My contact popped out of my eye and onto the table. It was a new low.

 
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