i find myself uneased, today. maybe a little dissatisfied. see, last night, i met up for a few drinks with someone. a someone with whom i've shared a great number of emails and a wonderfully witty reparte. we gelled via the internet and determined it was time to meet, and after navigating our divergently meandering schedules, last night was the night.
so at a tiny, hole-in-the-wall mexican establishment, we chatted, at length, over beers - mexican beers, of course. our conversation was delightfully fluid and easy. laughter was frequent and lulls were nonexistent. we had never met face-to-face, yet we exuded comfort and history. we were good.
then, about 30 minutes before we parted ways, the other shoe dropped.
he's moving to the west coast in june to take a new job.
now, this is why i'm... whatever it is i am. disappointed, uneasy, dissatisfied, whatever. it became clear throughout the remainder of our conversation that this move was something he's known about for awhile... maybe not when we first started talking but certainly prior to us negotiating a meeting. i guess what i'm getting at is why did we meet at all, if he's leaving. i mean, it's sort of obvious i thought this was going somewhere while clearly he did not (at least that's what i'm assuming), so to have it derailed so unexpectedly has me a little off balance. i feel like i'm juggling while standing on one foot. do i continue to try and hang out with him or go for the clean break? do i hope that maybe he just doesn't want to start something before he leaves or take things at face value and assume he just wanted someone to have a few drinks with him?
i don't really know how to proceed from here. i like him. he's an amazing person, but i don't want to set myself up for defeat. i've done that before, and i've learned from the past.
he may introduce me to some people around here, which is greatly appreciated being new to the area and all, but i just can't understand why he started all of this knowing the situation. as i learned last night, he doesn't need more friends (he has hundreds, if not thousands), and i certainly need ones that are local. i just don't get it.
already, i can tell the tone of our emails has changed. the back and forth isn't there. maybe he caught on that i was taken by surprise. maybe he's thinking the same things. maybe he knows what i'm thinking and is turned off. i don't know.
wtf.
i.f.o.t.d. - per an article i read today on msn.com, i'm totally afraid of getting stuck in my bathtub.
posted by brett @ 6:56 PM
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