thank you, thank you, thank you all for the great messages and cheer you sent for my birthday. they were all truly appreciated and helped to make the occasion that much more special for me.
thank you.
great gifts:
-several, highly-unexpected but very thoughtful and touching cards
-the dvd containing my most quoted (perhaps overly so) phrase ever, "mixed race babies, darling!" [bonus points if you recognize it]
-a set of candles with bamboo screens that molly and i like so much we intend to put them in the dining room despite the fact that they don't entirely match the decor
-a new i-pod... technically, i didn't get this... yet. nudge, nudge, parentals. i've been heartbroken ever since my little sven (yes, it's name was sven, and no, it wasn't named after svendella ... sorry, svendella) went to the great big apple store in the sky. r.i.p.
best gift:
drumroll please...
-a new, m-fucking j.o.b.
yep, after well over a year of searching and pleading and crying and begging and loathing and more searching, i got a job offer that was accepted and officialized (whatever, it's a word now) on june 26.
while i'm very excited about the new job, i do get quite logical around my birthday... astrological, that is. it seems msn's astrologer to the masses would think my new job is not a wise pick.
msn's suggestions:
-nurse: "they've been kissing boo-boos and playing nurse since childhood. count on a well-stocked first aid kit at their house. this job involves having empathy, a way with people, and concern for the welfare of their patients." clearly, they have never met me. the only boo-boo i've been kissing since childhood was little bob "boo-boo" peterson who lived down the street.
-maid/cleaner: uhhhh... seriously. i live in a near-constant state of disarray.
-day care worker: "cancer loves working with children" yeah, no joke, st. jude has made a living off of it. too far? sorry.
-surrogate mother (my favorite): hey, i saw junior. if arnold can move around his organs to create a uterus, so can i.
-children's entertainer: let me know if a spot in the wiggles opens up.
-cook: if it weren't for molly, i would have turned the stove into extra storage ages ago. "they have to sample everything they make which invariably adds a few extra pounds." again, it is evident they know nothing about me.
-family therapist: i think i'd get more out of being on the couch. "however, cancers are usually the blubbering crybabies in their own family unit." blubbering is a bit harsh, i think.
-marine biologist (that came out of left field): "cancer has a fascination for the sea and the creatures in it. in this career they can use their excellent memories to remember the latin names." i would really hope there is more to marine biology than memorization.
-collector: "they usually buy because they love it or feel the need to have it, not for the prospect of selling. however, after the house is brimming to the eaves with barbie lunchboxes and star wars figurines, they may have to unload some of it." eek, perhaps they know me afterall.
-genealogist: seriously? c'mon, i mean i spend a lot of my time trying to forget who i'm related to.
so the breakdown according to msn, cancers will never make any fucking dollars. cook, maid, surrogate mother... what a load of crap.
posted by brett @ 11:58 AM
3 Comments:
mixed-race babies... mixed-race babies...
umm, Ab-Fab?
however, cancers are usually the blubbering crybabies in their own family unit.
That is so unfair!
Runs away crying
congrats on the new job! If only I were so lucky... sigh.
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