hedrinksalot, the blog

you've got to be effing kidding me!

this is like a little piece of heaven handed down to the mortals.

"if the institution of marriage is in trouble today, it's in trouble because of heterosexuals, not gay people. we're the ones who have made a mess out of the institution of marriage. to think that somehow or other if we pass this it's going to strengthen the institution of marriage is a sham."

- sen. richard l. saslaw, d-fairfax

my sentiments exactly, mr. saslaw.

i had bought 5 new swimsuits.

in quiet anticipation of a trip to key west in february, i purchased 5 new swimsuits - one for each day i thought we'd be there.

now, one week after being de-coupled, the suits have all arrived.
each one tinged with memories we never created.

the navy blue, low cut trunk reminds me of that first day on the beach. of our reacquaintance with the smell of sunscreen. of how we'd only stop holding hands long enough for me to turn the page of "the time traveler's wife". of how we'd stare out at the water, as blue as this suit, and then look at each other... so happy to be taking our first real trip together.

the brown, floral-printed pair of boardshorts reminds me of that second day when we explored the streets of key west. of renting bikes to ride to the southernmost point of the continental united states. of standing on the pier and watching the infamous key west sunset.

the black and royal blue retro cut trunk reminds me of that day we went snorkeling. of how we'd mouth messages to each other under the water. of how we'd hide from one another behind the seaweed and seagrass... giddy to catch a glimpse of the tip of a flipper or the trail of bubbles spewing from a hidden snorkel.

the red, andrew christian fitted-trunk reminds me of the night we swam under the stars. of being surrounded by the shimmery blackness of the ocean at night. of losing all bearing on the world. of how it didn't matter because his face was the only compass i'd ever needed.

the black, brazilian cut, short-short trunk reminds me of our last day in that false paradise. of not knowing how to deal with that feeling... that feeling of loss and confusion. of fearing where it would go from here or how it goes back to normal. of thinking how badly i wanted to just keep it just like this forever. of wanting the world to stop spinning. of needing nothing to change. of hoping it never would.

i've tried each one on. felt each memory and remembered everything.

...and i wish he could have these memories. know those moments.

i don't think he'll ever know them with me.

and i don't think i'll ever wear them again.

it might be love

...and none of that l-o-l-o-l-o-l-o-v-e, ashley simpson shit, either.

more like the l-u-l-u-l-u-l-u-s-t kind.

joe. my. god.

i mean, honestly.

honestly.

...and then

thank you, usa today and donna freydkin, for this piece of hard-hitting journalistic crap.

...then again.

it's about maddox jolie-pitt, so of course, i love every fucking syllable of it.

one year in grade school, we had to go home and compile a list of as many homonyms as we possibly could. the kid with the longest list would get a prize.

i remember tearing through the dictionary, saying each entry outloud and wondering if there was another word that sounded exactly the same.

"surely, there must be a better way to do this," i thought. "ooo, there, that's one. t-h-e-r-e and t-h-e-i-r and t-h-e-y-'-r-e... aha, and must and mussed. hehe, way and weigh and that shit that ms. muffet ate... hmmm... maybe this is the best way to do this... yep, to, too, two. man, i fucking own at this."

finally, i reached a point where i thought my list was undoubtedly longer than any my slack-jawed classmates would compile. i couldn't wait for whatever prize it was mrs. beyers had ready for me... i mean, the winner. it was a catholic school, and jesus fucking loves winners.

that night, i prayed (needless to say, i then added prayed and preyed to the list) to all that was holy (yep, holy and holey, too) for (do i really have to keep pointing these out?) a victory. i knew (i mean, honestly, you've got to be seeing some of these yourself) god wouldn't let me down.

except he did.

crazy walter short, the boy who often claimed that giant squids attacked his house, forcing him to sleep, quite literally, in the dog house and thus making it impossible for him to do his homework, had apparently been compiling a list of homonyms for several years... his list was some four or five pages long. i mean, come on, walter, my fam was poor, too, but we definitely found better ways to entertain ourselves.

i was pissed. mad at walter. mad at mrs. beyers. mad at jesus. mad at myself.

i think the same thing must have happened to alan cooper when he was a child.

or maybe walter changed his name.

i'm not too sure how i feel about this.

i know their intentions were good, but something just seems a little off somehow. not necessarily offensive or demeaning, just... i don't know, odd, maybe.

today, in celebration of the great legacy of dr. martin luther king jr. and all of his work in the struggle for equality, google doctored their famous logo.

here's what they chose to mark this very important day:

this gives the whole "oh" face thing a new meaning...

i've had some heavy stuff going on in my personal life lately, so forgive the infrequency of posts...

regardless, before we get too far into this new year, some resolutions:

1. get a job i don't hate; get the job i want

2. write one letter or send one card every month; no, sending 12 holiday cards in december does not count

3. make my finances the priority they should be; no mo' po' bro

4. find a good circle of friends, a la minnie driver and chris o'donnell; reclaim a social life

5. go to the gym; tits and ass await

6. assess my relationships; cut the fat and keep the lean

7. set aside time to really write; blogging on a saturday, shut the fuck up!

8. have passion again; not missing an episode of project runway doesn't really suffice

9. do well on the l.s.a.t.; watch out, northwestern, here i come

10. maintain my environment; a clean room is a happy room

11. travel more; adventure is out there somewhere... so is a husband who can get you eu citizenship

12. let myself see the beauty in the everyday and the excitement in the ordinary; lose the cynicism, biznatch.

on a sidenote, i'm sad to see matt d and jason leaving the blogosphere, but i understand you both have your reasons. good luck and stuff. x's and o's to you both.

he drinks a blog

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

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