hedrinksalot, the blog

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

the thanksgiving holiday was a long one for me, and i will summarize it... just not now.

but yep, i'm finally back... back to where, exactly?

well, here to be exact.

add your shit to that map so i can stalk you.

it'll be fun, i promise.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

today, i turn it over to you, fair readers...

it seems there are two types of people in the world:

those that hook-up with strangers and those that knock boots with their friends.

which are you and why?

to get the ball rolling, i'll start.

i prefer the presence of a less familiar face between my thighs over that of a friend.

while this may seem a contradiction, sex is too intimate and too personal for me to share with someone who is just my friend. i refuse to muddy the waters of friendship with casual blow jobs or an intense session of butt-humping here and there. friends are for talking about other people's dicks, not for getting yours mouthed. i never had the friend in grade school or junior high with whom i engaged in sex play. i never liked the idea of having a fuck buddy. friends, i simply can't help a buddy out.

my friends are my friends, and my lovers are my blowers and humpers.

...so if you want to sleep with me, you better do it on the first date.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

the other night night, joe described me as "indie".

i almost laughed in his face.

sophisticated hipster, perhaps, but indie...?!? c'mon!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

...but where the hell are we going?

for the first time in a very long time, molly and i are both coupled.

and as roommates do, we share.

we share every little obsessive, bat-shit crazy nuerosis and fanatical, over-analyzed aspect of our relationships with one another.

i tell her about the pictures of joe and his hot ex, in which they look incredibly happy, and about the lack of our photographic history on the whole. she informs me of her unease with the potential for mr. b's future plans and her concerns with his ever-climbing age.
i openly ponder with her the meanings behind the stupid things joe says to me (case in point: "i already had the love of my life and he got away."), and she deliberates the necessity and silliness of celebrating a one-month anniversary.

this is what we do. this is how we deal. this is how we keep our relationships going.

we discuss. we confer. we decide. we keep going.

yet last night, i asked a question molly and i couldn't answer...

i turned to her, during our nightly relationship conversation, and said, "not that i expect it to happen anytime soon [because i don't], but out of curiosity, when do couples move-in together?"

"well," she replied, "most couples i know started living together about a year into their relationships... around the time they got engaged. they dated a year, moved-in together, got engaged, and the rest is history."

"...but. but i can't get engaged."

"yeah. hmm..."

and while the question may seem to be about when does a couple know the time is right to start living together, it goes deeper than that... it's easy to answer the question i verbalized, but the one i implied, well, it's a bit more elusive. a bit trickier. a bit harder to solve.

the question i really asked was:

as a gay couple, where the hell are we going?

we were stuck.

because there was no right answer. there is no path for us. there is no precedent.

gay couples, as byron put it, have no ruler. no tools for measurement. no timeline. no way of knowing what's expected of them or what they want the future to look like.

so with no potential for marriage, where is the potential promise of unyeilding committment? what do gay couples have to look forward to in their relationships as markers of their endurance and committment to one another? where are they going?

but before i wander, this isn't about marriage. it's about significance. marriage is simply the word for the signifier that this relationship is important and meaningful and true, despite what's going on in society and the defamation of marriage.

marriage is the capstone achievement in defining a relationship between two people, so without it, what makes six months together truly and significantly different than six years together? without the open and legal agreement that the coming years are important beyond health and wealth, what difference exists between a year and 10 years together?

...and suddenly, i understood so many relationships i had seen fail in the past. because without marriage, it's easy for him to pack up and leave you with the condo. because without marriage, "i'm scared", "i'm bored", and "i'm horny" become rational reasons to end 3 years. because without marriage, he can't raise a family with you. because without marriage, i can't see where we're going. because without the capstone, the arch crumbles.

while, sure, gays need marriage because it gives us rights and securities, we also need it to make our relationships survive. i know tons of people will disagree with me on this one, but how many gay relationships have you seen last more than a year, more than 5 years, more than 10?

me? i've seen only a handful, probably less than 6.

and why?

because they don't know where they're going...

i don't know what to look for...
i don't know where we're headed.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

some of you know.

some of you don't.

this past week, a potential employer came across this website.

needless to say, after perusing its contents, they were no longer interested in interviewing me.

it could be that i mentioned i was slightly interested in going to law school next fall.
it could be that i have an incredibly dirty mouth.
it could be that i'm gay.
it could be that i post stories about my crazy adventures that usually involve copious amounts of booze and naked people.
it could be that you can find this blog by searching for "nursing home gloryhole".

i'm not sure what it was exactly, but it did make me truly aware of how small the world is and how careful i need to be about what parts of myself i'm putting out there for everyone to see.

i had never wanted this site to become all about brett.
i had always wanted it to be about things. not about my day. not about my work. not about me. but about the world.
somehow, it devolved into a diary of sorts... a running commentary or narration on my life.

with any luck, in the coming days/weeks/months, i can work to change this and get back on message, back on center, back where i wanted to be.

but do not fret, fair reader, brett will not change.
he will still be irreverent and irreplaceable. he will still be self-effacing and self-righteous. he will still be tongue-in-cheek and tongue-between-your-cheeks. he will still drink a lot. and if you're lucky, you'll be on the stool next to him.

and apparently, he will still speak in the third person for emphasis.

sweet jesus, i'm a tool.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

...and now it's been confirmed:

Fashionista
59% Tastefulness, 56% Originality, 69% Deliberateness, 47% Sexiness

[Tasteful Original Deliberate Prissy]

One is certain: you have great taste and plenty of ideas. You have clearly defined beliefs about what's good and what's bad in fashion but they are far from banal. Stylish and imaginative, you prefer to inspire admiration than to shock and you mostly succeed. Even if sometimes you'd like to have more courage to put on something absolutely outrageous you do great job in creating a unique look that others look up to. There is a possibility that you work in the fashion industry. If you don't, perhaps you should.

The opposite style from yours is Bar Cruiser [Flamboyant Conventional Random Sexy].

that's right, i'm prissy, bitches...

Friday, November 04, 2005

sex and the city knew about alanis all along.

enjoy!

it's my roommate's motherfuckin' birthday, y'all!

this party is going to be out the hizzle or something.

i highly recommend that you join in the festivities; a good time is pretty much a sure thing... i mean, c'mon, i'll be there.

the full shilling. 3724 n. clark. 10 pm.

be there or be forgotten.

h.b., m.b.!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

so in a fit of madness, today, i decided that i will probably, most likely be trying to go to law school next fall...

about 20 minutes ago, i registered for the lsat.

notably, one of the hardest entrance exams in the nation, the lsat is a dreadful experience, as described by those few survivors i know...

i'm taking it on december 3.

yep, a test that many people spend months and months preparing for, i will spend just over a month getting ready for...

seems smart to me.

why the fuck do i think i can pull this off?!?