hedrinksalot, the blog

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

so rodrigo santoro has joined the cast of lost.

rodrigo.
santoro.
has joined.
the cast of.
lost.

*melts*
*evaporates*
*dies*

rodrigo. santoro. lost.

there is a god.

when do you think season 2 comes out on dvd?

i've got some catching up to do!

Monday, July 24, 2006

hey boys and boys (and probably a girl or two, as well)

i have returned to the working world, which in turn means i have returned to the blogging world.

while pictures from dc are imminent, in the meanwhile, can we talk about one ms. zuleyka mendoza?!? can we?

a little background: zuleyka, there, was puerto rico's representative at the ms. universe pageant. oh, and she won... so really, zuleyka-darling is miss universe!!!

okay, so a few things:

numero uno - she looks effing nuts in that picture. that one eye is all scrimpy over there, and her teeth... my god, her teeth! it looks like she's the part of some bad .gif animation. like i expect those teeth to start moving or something or like bite the head off a kitten or the neck off a bottle of beer. they're just scary.

numero dos - she is furonda's (of america's next top model fame) hand twin a la joey tribbiani. that hand is hugenormous! it's like bigger than her face. it's like a french-tipped, well-manicured serving platter. combined with her crazy-ass face, she looks like a cracked out gabor sister... i'm half-expecting to see in tomorrow's news that zuleyka bitch-slapped a cop then dropped a hundo on some magenta chinchilla coat.

numero tres - she knew she was going to win, as evidenced by her "coincidentally" matching her earrings to the tiara they gave her. mmmhm. i smell a ms. universe conspiracy. does the donald know about this?

numero cuatro - she wore, what can best be described as, a silly dress. according to roommate, zuleyka opted to wear a dress fashioned out of a bajillion small metal chains. is there some sort of reasoning behind this? was it made by the same designer who did the american express gold card dress? is puerto rico's chief export small metal chains and not gardeners as first suspected?

numero cinco - she is named zuleyka! zu. ley. ka. is she an android? perhaps an alien? i know she's from puerto rico and all, but that is not even a real name there. zuleyka. for surrious.

regardless, today, i tip my hat to you, zuleyka mendoza, miss universe!

oh, how you have made my monday!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

hang in there, kids!

a recap of my misadventures in d.c. is on the near horizon...

there's just the pesky little issue of the roughly 100 photographs from 3 days and how to get them onto the blog in a somewhat efficient way.

a few fair readers have already had the opportunity to see said photos, and i'm sure they'll attest that the proof is in the photo pudding...

and it's some fucking good pudding!

so sit tight and prepare to see the gloriousness that is me in a foreign city!

p.s. there are a few i'd like to condense into animated gifs... 1 problem: i don't know how to make animated gifs. assist where possible.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

i'm off to dc for the weekend.

the marvelous miss betsy has returned from her jaunt into siberia, and i am much overdue on some quality time with one of my favorite ladies in the world.

to sweeten the deal, madame lindserella will be joining me, making this adventure all the better.

yep, i picked pussy over the opening weekend of the gay games. i'm that kinda gay.

give the australian swim team my love. tell the italian footballers i said hello.

...oh, and let the french wrestlers know i'll be expecting them upon my return.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

i'm in a weird place.

so much so that i have a really difficult time trying to describe it in words.

in the last few weeks, i have become terribly, almost painfully, aware of my life. i say that and don't even completely understand what it means... but it's the best description i can muster.

even chocolate has a bitterness to it.

i do not mean i am aware of my daily decisions or mistakes or regrets. it is not that all the inadequacies of my day-to-day have become glaringly obvious. this is not some self-pitying display of my shortcomings or the ways in which i could condemn myself for being a bad person.

none of this. it is not sad. it is not these things.

it's the grand scheme. the patterns. the missing love. the breathing in and out. the way i am. the way it is.

all of this.

i am in a personal dilemma - a dizzying spot of confusion and epiphany - and i am calm.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

i know. i know.

here it is, a quarter of the way through july, and i'm just now sharing my goals for the summer.

a little late on this one. oopsie-doodle, as i say. oopsie. doodle.

anyhow...

brett's list o' things to get done right for summer 2006

(in no particular order)

spend some time at millenium park with molly because we love it so
get a m-fucking tan
eat watermelon
buy funky sunglasses
read a book on the beach... the concrete step(pe) things at the lakefront do not count
catch fireflies
invent the perfect summer cocktail
give some serious attention to lsat prep
go sailing
meet an aussie [or just someone with a fun accent] during the gay games
dance with sparklers
see a play, if for nothing other than the air conditioning
swim naked under the stars... yes, i am 24 and have never gone skinny dipping
cheer on the cubs... despite being a cardinals fan
camp-out
gossip over ice cream cones while people-watching
make my own lemonade iced tea
date a nice boy
find a willow tree and swing from its boughs a la tarzan
wear flip-flops whenever humanly [or at least professionally] possible
move adam to chicago

i'm sure this list will grow... but that's what it looks like right about now.

what are your goals for summer '06?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

you're all amazing and wonderful and beautiful and fabulous!

thank you, thank you, thank you all for the great messages and cheer you sent for my birthday. they were all truly appreciated and helped to make the occasion that much more special for me.

thank you.

great gifts:
-several, highly-unexpected but very thoughtful and touching cards
-the dvd containing my most quoted (perhaps overly so) phrase ever, "mixed race babies, darling!" [bonus points if you recognize it]
-a set of candles with bamboo screens that molly and i like so much we intend to put them in the dining room despite the fact that they don't entirely match the decor
-a new i-pod... technically, i didn't get this... yet. nudge, nudge, parentals. i've been heartbroken ever since my little sven (yes, it's name was sven, and no, it wasn't named after svendella ... sorry, svendella) went to the great big apple store in the sky. r.i.p.

best gift:

drumroll please...

-a new, m-fucking j.o.b.

yep, after well over a year of searching and pleading and crying and begging and loathing and more searching, i got a job offer that was accepted and officialized (whatever, it's a word now) on june 26.

while i'm very excited about the new job, i do get quite logical around my birthday... astrological, that is. it seems msn's astrologer to the masses would think my new job is not a wise pick.

msn's suggestions:
-nurse: "they've been kissing boo-boos and playing nurse since childhood. count on a well-stocked first aid kit at their house. this job involves having empathy, a way with people, and concern for the welfare of their patients." clearly, they have never met me. the only boo-boo i've been kissing since childhood was little bob "boo-boo" peterson who lived down the street.

-maid/cleaner: uhhhh... seriously. i live in a near-constant state of disarray.

-day care worker: "cancer loves working with children" yeah, no joke, st. jude has made a living off of it. too far? sorry.

-surrogate mother (my favorite): hey, i saw junior. if arnold can move around his organs to create a uterus, so can i.

-children's entertainer: let me know if a spot in the wiggles opens up.

-cook: if it weren't for molly, i would have turned the stove into extra storage ages ago. "they have to sample everything they make which invariably adds a few extra pounds." again, it is evident they know nothing about me.

-family therapist: i think i'd get more out of being on the couch. "however, cancers are usually the blubbering crybabies in their own family unit." blubbering is a bit harsh, i think.

-marine biologist (that came out of left field): "cancer has a fascination for the sea and the creatures in it. in this career they can use their excellent memories to remember the latin names." i would really hope there is more to marine biology than memorization.

-collector: "they usually buy because they love it or feel the need to have it, not for the prospect of selling. however, after the house is brimming to the eaves with barbie lunchboxes and star wars figurines, they may have to unload some of it." eek, perhaps they know me afterall.

-genealogist: seriously? c'mon, i mean i spend a lot of my time trying to forget who i'm related to.

so the breakdown according to msn, cancers will never make any fucking dollars. cook, maid, surrogate mother... what a load of crap.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

happy birthday to you...
happy birthday toooooooooo yooooooooooooou...

happy birthday most fantastic person in the world who lights up my days and fills up my nights and makes me want to be a better person and who i find so incredibly sexy and god damn attractive whose name is breeeeeee-eeeeeett...

happy birthday tooooooooooooooooo you!

that's what i heard y'all singing anyway.

happy happy brett day!